


Music to Murder to

by Chef_Geekier



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Radio, Angry Rants, Hannibal Being Hannibal, Humour, M/M, Slow Build, Will Graham & Beverly Katz Friendship, Will and Beverly as Radio Hosts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5839762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chef_Geekier/pseuds/Chef_Geekier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Hannibal's iPod stops working, he finds a radio station to listen to while driving around late at night. He particularly likes one of the overnight radio hosts. Things just get worse when he starts calling in on the way back from staging his murder tableaus.</p>
<p>Featuring still-a-murdering-cannibal Hannibal, very late night radio hosts Will and Beverly, Freddie Lounds as their celebrity gossip correspondent, Jack as the station manager, and Zeller and Price as the breakfast hosts. More cast may show up if they become relevant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Musical Zombies

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me, I have no idea.
> 
> Chapters will most likely be short, but hopefully frequent. I have a list of topics for Will and Beverly to banter about, and later for Will to rant about, but am always happy to hear suggestions.
> 
> This will eventually become Will/Hannibal, which Bev will ship so hard.
> 
> Formatting note: Italics within quotation marks = talking on the radio.

  Hannibal frowned as he tapped at his iPod. For some reason it wasn't responding, which meant that he was left with over an hour of driving and none of his own music. It was vexing, but there was nothing he could do about it right now. So he turned on the radio, checking various local radio stations in the hope of finding something that wasn't too offensive to his musical sensibilities.

  To his surprise, after a few channel changes he found a station playing something he recognised - Adagio For Strings, op. 11 by Samuel Osmond Barber II. He left the radio tuned to that station and hummed along as he started the car.

  The song wound down eventually, and to Hannibal's further surprise a radio host started talking. He hadn't expected it at 1:30 on a Wednesday morning, but the young man's voice was soothing and pleasant to listen to. It sounded as though he was smiling as he spoke.

_"And there we go, some culture for you heathens, requested by our poor producer."_

_"Yeah, sorry for all the pop Jack."_

The female host's voice wasn't as pleasant to Hannibal's ears, but it also held a smile and worked well with the man. Hannibal decided to keep listening for a bit.

  _"Though to be fair,"_ the male continued, _"most classical music would have been considered 'pop' music when it was composed."_

_"Yeah, but can you honestly picture hoity-toity people playing P!nk's music in two hundred years?"_

_"Maybe. She's been around for a while already and she's pretty hardcore, wouldn't surprise me if she never stopped."_

_"Are you suggesting that P!nk is some sort of musical zombie?"_

_"No, that would be Madonna."_

_"...Fair point. Anyway, enough of our nattering. Let's have some more music."_

  With that, the music came through again. It wasn't something that Hannibal would usually listen to, but he decided to stick with the station for now. The odd music would be worth enduring to hear the hosts again.

  There was a little more patter, with the two hosts bouncing well off each other, interspersing the music which was quite an eclectic selection. Just as Hannibal was pulling into his driveway he finally caught the names of both the hosts and their show.

_"This is Will-"_

_"And Beverly-"_

_"And we're... Do I really have to admit to this?"_

_"You agreed to the name change. Get on with it."_

_"I was drunk! You can't hold me to that!"_

_"Yes I damn well can. Suck it up, Lightweight."_

_"Fine. You're listening to Team Sassy Science, on FBI 102.3."_

_"There you go!"_

_"I hate you."_

_"No you don't. Now play another song."_

_"Yes Beverly."_

  Hannibal switched off the ignition, car falling silent around him. He took a moment before deciding that from now on, this would be his chosen station during his late night activities. There was something about this Will that had caught his attention, and now he needed more information about the man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the show segment entitled 'Will Gets Pissy'. Going with book-canon that Will has a potty-mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I keep having whole conversations between Will and Bev going on in my head, and then forget to write them down. I honestly thought I'd posted at least this and another chapter. Bad CG, no biscuit.

It was only a few nights later that Hannibal found himself driving late at night again. He'd looked up the timeslot for 'Team Sassy Science' and found that the hosts had quite a long shift considering they worked in radio. They were on air from one am to six am, when breakfast hosts Brian and Jimmy took over, each weekday. Apparently FBI 102.3 took pride in always having a host live on air.

Whatever the reason, Hannibal was appreciative. It turned out that both Will and Beverly had forensics degrees, so were clearly quite smart, and often let that knowledge bleed through into their talk spots. Hannibal looked forward to hearing what they would come out with tonight. As soon as he turned on the radio, Will's voice came through the speakers.

_"-Apparently we get new listeners now and then-"_

_"Yeah,"_ Beverly interrupted, _"who'da thought that a radio show at ass o'clock would have a constantly shifting audience base?"_

_"Anyway, we're coming up on a time that Beverly has dubbed 'Will Gets Pissy'."_

_"Basically, once a week I give Will one minute to rant about a particular subject. And since Will swears like a sailor-"_

_"I do not!"_

_"Yes you do!"_

_"No, I swear like a British comedian. They're worse."_

_"I'll take your word for it. Anyway, since Will is a potty-mouth when angry, and apparently this station has standards-"_

_"Don't know where those standards were when we were hired."_ Will sounded grumpy, but still strangely endearing. The man clearly had talent.

_"Hush. We decided to pre-record the rants and I have inserted sounds to cover up the swearing."_

_"What a treat. That'll be coming up in two songs' time. Tonight's rant is on men and snuggling."_

_"We'll be back shortly."_

Hannibal hummed to himself as he drove. Tonight's chosen appointment was more than fifteen minutes away from his current location, so he had time to listen to the rant. While not a fan of swearing in general, he was interested to hear what could possibly be so ire-inducing about snuggling.

The music he listened to whilst waiting wasn't terrible, and was indeed an eclectic mix. The songs had a strong beat at least, enough to keep Hannibal focused on driving. He wasn't particularly fond of the singers, but the music itself was decent enough.

As the second song finished, Hannibal pulled into the parking lot for a run-down 24-hour diner. He had the feeling that he would find Will's speech distracting and didn't want to attract attention with erratic driving.

_"Okay,"_ Will's voice came through as Hannibal turned off the headlights, _"this week I'm talking about snuggling. We all know the stereotypes, women love it and men hate it. Well, I call bull-"_ here there was the sound of a dog bark. Hannibal blinked, but continued listening.

_"I'm a man, and I don't like casual contact with most people. It's annoying and sweaty and just plain *bark*-ing uncomfortable. But when I'm in a relationship, I like to snuggle. I want to be close to my partner and enjoy it, but no! I have to stop and explain that no, I don't want to *bark!*, I just wanna snuggle. It doesn't make me any less of a *bark!*-ing man, I just want to spend some *bark!*-ing time curled up with my *bark!*-ing partner without any *bark! bark!* expectations about tolerating the cuddling so I can shove my *bark!* into them!_

_"This is why I need *bark!*-ing feminism, so people will stop judging me for the *bark!* that I enjoy without all the bull-*bark!* about it not being *bark!*-ing manly enough. Don't want to cuddle with me? Then you can *bark!* off and let me find someone who will!"_

At the end, the shared laughter of Beverly and Will poured through the speakers. Hannibal found that the whole thing was oddly endearing, and while he himself wasn't a fan of 'snuggling', as they called it, he could understand Will's point. Touching just to touch, with no further agenda, was one of the few perks that he could see in a relationship. It wasn't something that he needed, but could acknowledge that it was nice for other people.

_"So that was Will getting pissy,"_ Beverly spoke through her laughter, _"and now you can all hear why I need to censor him."_  


_"That was Maggie barking, wasn't it?"_  


_"And you can also hear how bad he needs a new boyfriend. He can tell which of his two million dogs was helping me."_  


_"I do not have two million dogs. That many wouldn't fit in my house."_  


_"Fine. Your six dogs."_  


_"Better."_  


_"I notice you didn't deny needing a boyfriend."_  


_"Or girlfriend, I'm not picky. But I definitely need someone to snuggle with. The dogs are good, but not great conversationalists."_  


_"Tell you what, until you find someone I'll be your snuggle-buddy."_  


_"What? No, wait! Bev!"_  


There was the sound of a scuffle, and Hannibal nearly frowned at the radio until the voices came back, Will's a little muffled.  


_"Sorry about this folks, but Bev is now conducting the show from my lap. We're gonna go to a song and get the wires sorted out."_  


_"Back with you soon!"_  


Starting the car again, Hannibal felt the strangest urge to chuckle. He swallowed it down, but nevertheless admitted to himself that the pair were quite amusing.  



End file.
